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  • Writer's pictureVictoria Secrist

Debunking 3 Common Relationship Myths

In the complex tapestry of human connections, relationships often appear to be effortless from the outside. The illusion that creating, managing, and maintaining relationships is a walk in the park is one of the most significant misconceptions. I encounter countless couples grappling with the fallout of three common relationship myths that can hinder their journey towards genuine connection.


Myth 1: Things Should Feel Easy

It's easy to fall prey to the belief that if a relationship is meant to be, it should unfold effortlessly. The truth is, all relationships, whether romantic, familial, or platonic, demand time, dedication, and work. Disconnection is a common culprit that can erode the foundation of a relationship. Often, a sense of safety and security is compromised by past traumas, abandonment, or even experiences from previous relationships.

Understanding and addressing these underlying factors are essential steps toward building a stronger and more resilient connection. Remember, relationships are a journey, not a destination, and navigating challenges together can lead to profound growth.


Myth 2: Having More Sex Will Improve our Relationship

The belief that a relationship's success is solely determined by the frequency of sexual intercourse is a misguided notion. There is no universal standard for how much sex is "enough." It's essential to recognize that the term "sex" extends beyond physical intercourse. Emotional and sexual intimacy are often the true yearnings within a relationship, and these can be achieved without traditional intercourse.

Feeling safe and secure within oneself and the relationship is paramount for exposing vulnerabilities in the intimate space. Past traumas can significantly impact one's comfort with physical intimacy. By fostering emotional and sexual connection through various means, couples can create a fulfilling and satisfying bond that goes beyond mere physicality.


Myth 3: All our Problems Will Improve if we Communicate Better

Communication is often hailed as the panacea for relationship issues. While effective communication is undoubtedly crucial, it's a common misconception to believe that improved communication alone can solve all problems. Many couples seek therapy citing communication breakdowns as the primary issue, and while this may be a symptom, it's rarely the root cause.

In these moments of miscommunication, emotions play a significant role. It's essential to delve deeper into the emotional side of the relationship, exploring the underlying processes and meanings that contribute to the disconnect. Safety and security, both within oneself and the relationship, are foundational elements that pave the way for effective communication.


In conclusion, debunking these common relationship myths requires a holistic approach that goes beyond surface-level solutions. Acknowledging the complexities of human connection, understanding the impact of past traumas, redefining intimacy, and exploring the emotional dimensions of communication are essential steps toward fostering resilient and fulfilling relationships. Remember, the journey of connection is an ongoing process of growth and discovery, and with dedication and understanding, genuine connection is within reach.


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